Noise

Being a mommy in a world where almost everyone around will be there to tell you that "you're way of parenting is wrong" , is not easy. Almost every mom experience this kind of shaming. And your heart won't let you do things, that makes perfect sense in your head. So you will end up doing things that the world around, suggests you. Sometime they are right but sometimes they are not. Being a mommy what a women needs the most is, "trusting her gut feeling, instead of feeling guilty". Remember that, there is no universal rules and standards of parenting in this world. You and your child is a unique duo in this world. From your finger tips to the chemistry of your brain and from your heart to your soul, you are unique in every way. So first of all embrace being unique...listen to whoever is there to guide you, but do what you "feel" is good for you and your kid. Be it nutrition, education or health.

That constant feeling of "being not a good mommy" is something that drives you crazy. This feeling is nourished by the shaming that every mom experience everyday by other moms, friends and family. so I experienced that too. A constant sense of guilt was there. But then I realised that no one on Earth can love a baby more than his/her mother. And this love is natural. It's not a learned behavior. So can I ever do anything wrong or bad for her deliberately? The answer was no. No mother can do that. So why am I listening to everyone around about what's planted inside my heart by Allah swt? It's there and it's as real as daylight. Why do I need a certificate of being a good mommy from everyone? Instead I only need 2 arms wrapped around my neck, and a whisper that tells me, "I love you Mommy, you are the best mommy in the whole wide world". this certificate is enough to tell me that things are going in the right direction.
So I focused on my little angel. I focused on our bond instead of pleasing everyone around with my way of parenting. I took decisions that I thought were good for her. I was always open to suggestions but I never let anyone lead me in this journey except my girl. Yes, I wanted her to lead. I wanted her to teach me parenting. Because there are only 2 people in this bond. Our behaviour is affecting us more than anyone else. So who else can judge it better than her? there are things that I taught her, and there is a long list of things that's she taught me. It is a mutual learning experience.
There were times when we failed, but then there were good times too. saying no to things that I didn't want for her, was not easy. It positioned me some where, that was hurting for me at times. But those big curious eyes and that tiny hand wrapped around my finger gave me all the strength to chose wisely and strongly.  Being deaf to external noise about your parenting, was not easy. It still is not easy. Sometimes I feel shattered for all the judgements and reactions. As most of them never bothered to understand the logic behind those actions or decisions. But being deaf to that noise helped my kid. It made me strong. And I transferred that strength to my kid. At least I tried. No matter what the world around you says, remember that a little soul trusts you about their life, in every possible way. So do what you think is the best for you and them according to your circumstances.